How Do You Know If He’s “The ONE”?: 5 Question to Ask Yourself
I’ve been asked this question a lot recently, “How do you know if this person is “the ONE”? This is a fair question in this crazy world of meeting new people, starting to date, in the process of dating, and in your journey to remain sexually pure. It can be stressful, confusing, Especially when the heavens have seemed to open and shine in your direction, things are going great, or you just met someone who seems to be just perfect for you. How do you know?
I don’t believe there is any ONE way to know. We are all different and God speaks to us in different ways. There are stories of love at first sight, best friends turned romantic, blind dates turning into marriage, successful online matches, and so on. Whatever way God is writing your personal love story, there are definitely some guidelines to think about and questions to ask yourself. Remember I am speaking to you not only as your sister in Christ but with the understanding that you are a follower of Christ.
1) Are you in the Word of God?– I ALWAYS go back to the Word my brothers and sisters because there is NO way around it. This is where you learn about God, His Voice, His ways, His leading, so you are prepared to know which direction and with whom God wants you to go with and when is the right time to do so. If you don’t know what God’s voice sounds like it will be very difficult to discern (understand, see, know) all these things and other questions you may tucked away in your heart. Get to know Him!
“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” (Psalm 119:105)
2) Does he or she line up with the Word of God?– When you begin to hear stories about the “heros” of the bible and the heart they had for God, can you look at this person and say without a doubt that their heart is for Him? Yes we are imperfect, yes we make mistakes, but does this person have a sincere heart along with the action of moving and changing in the direction they need to go? If they are selling drugs, if they are heavily drinking, cheating on you or on someone else with you, then the bottom-line is, they are NOT for you! (I know..I know..I can be a tough cookie sometimes but I CARE about you…just remember that!)
“but test everything; hold fast what is good…” (1 Thess. 5:21)
“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1)
3) Is he or she a Christian?– Did I just hear someone suck their teeth? Groan? Click off? J No but seriously, are they? This may seem a little redundant from the above question but are they saved? No I’m not talking about, “Well they know who God is? Their father is a Pastor. (<– one of my favorites) The believe in something they just don’t know what. They USED to go to church but then…. Remember if you are sick, in an accident, going through hard times, you will NEED someone who can and will pray for you. My hubby is so hot when he prays for me. (I’m being real!) You may think, “Oh I don’t care about that!” but trust me when you are dating/married to an UNbeliever you will be tempted by Christian women or men who are on fire for God. God trumps all.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14)
4) Did God give you an answer?– When I saw my hubby for the first time, God told me he was going to be my husband. Did you receive a message like this? Have you felt God has spoken to you about any one person? If you do or have, give it time. Allow God to confirm it to you more than once and ask for counsel. You may need assistance deciphering. If you haven’t, then ask God for clear direction to the person that will be your lifelong partner whether you feel they are already in your life or not. Trust His answer. You may not always agree with it but you will see later why things turn out the way they do.
“Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (Eph. 5:17)
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,?neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:8-9)
5) Are YOU the “one”?- I remember hearing somewhere, “In order find Mr. or Mrs. Right, you need to be Mr. or Mrs. Right.” It’s true. In order for God to bless you, you need to be in a place to be blessed. If you are dating whoever comes your way and constantly looking for the next person, then you should take a step back. Allow yourself space to know what you want, set some goals, figure out where you want to be so when that person, the “one”, DOES walk into your life, you will recognize them.
“Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season…” (2 Tim. 4:2)
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matt. 6:33)
Have I answered your question? Whether or not you feel as if you have a better idea of knowing who’s the “one”, remember to breath, relax, and of most importance, take your time. God is a God of peace. If you feel rushed into something, you feel your heart is grieving, or are really questioning this person in your life, then it maybe time to rethink the relationship. Here are some other articles in helping you through this process:
Baskets of Blessings!
Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!