I Lost My Virginity: Can I Still Be Pure? 16 Quick Truths You Need to Know
Do you regret losing your virginity before marriage? The effects of losing virginity before marriage can cause someone to question their decision to have done so. Actually, the biggest question and defense I’ve heard against teaching abstinence is, “What about those who already lost their virginity? How would it make them feel?” It seems as if educators, parents, and a majority of people really believe purity is just for virgins and excludes the non-virgins. This is the biggest lie surrounding purity.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”Purity is both for the virgins and non-virgins. @NinaSlay4Christ” quote=”Purity is both for the virgins and non-virgins. @NinaSlay4Christ”]
“I just lost my virginity…”
Sin doesn’t give us the okay to give up. Bad decisions can’t hold us hostage to where now we have to make more bad decisions. Christ annihilated that excuse when He died on the cross. He gives us everything we need to choose differently. Purity is a non-negotiable.
I know the world thinks purity is “old-fashioned” but we work off the heavenly kingdom where purity is God-fashioned.
How to live a life of purity:
Are you tired of getting the same results? Are you tired of having a reputation and want to start over? Do you need rest?
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Cor. 5:17)
When you go to www.blueletterbible.org and search within the interlinear/concordance (fancy words for getting the Hebrew or Greek equivalent to the specific word you are looking up), when it describes “in Christ” you will see it refers to a relation of rest, a breath.
What a beautiful gift given to us when we surrender our lives to Him, we get so much more in return.
How many of us need a breath? A break from our past and people’s words? Freedom from those people we were intimate with and no longer want to be a part of?
When you aren’t a virgin anymore, you can feel like you are striving to get back what you lost, fix your reputation, change, or you stop caring altogether and start filling that whole with even more toxic behavior. All of which we need a breath from
When we are in Christ, we can rest in His identity rather than what people identify us with.
We are a new creation in Him.
Digging into the words “new creation”, we find what so many desperately seek. A new start. You will find the definition to include synonyms like recently made, fresh, recent, unused, unworn, unheard of. Unheard of. What a blessing to have when we have done so much we are ashamed of. To think, we don’t have a reputation in the Kingdom of God. Eternity is now. Therefore, we can live eternally in the reputation the Lord has set for us by His sacrifice.
Did you ever look at someone and think to yourself, “I wish I was them”? Did you ever wish no one knew who you were?
I remember looking at the good girls in my school and wanting to be them. I wanted to be what they called “wifey” material. People often reminded me I wasn’t that. I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t know any different. I was subject to my own knowledge and wisdom which was crafted by the world. I felt tarnished and acted through this identity.
With new identity comes new behavior.
Yes, it requires our participation. When we agree to accept Jesus Christ into our life, when we accept His identity, then we accept what He is calling us to do. Just like when you join a soccer team, enter into a new school, or get hired, we are accepting the training, the rules, the authority, and anything else associated with that particular thing. It’s the same with Jesus Christ.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”Purity is a non-negotiable in the kingdom of God.” quote=”Purity is a non-negotiable in the kingdom of God.”]
When we look deeper into the words “passed away”, we find some gems. “Passed away” refers to “of persons moving forward, to be led by, to be carried past”. “Carried past” stood out to me the most.
When I think of this, I think of all the romantic movies (WARNING: Girly gush moment approaching). The image of the hero carrying his love away from the danger. I also think of my babies. Carrying them was either because they wanted comfort, they were too tired, or because they just wanted to be in my arms.
Carrying is leaning on someone else’s strength when we are too tired or can’t go on.
How stunning for us to have that in our Savior.
Not only do I see “carried past” but also “of persons moving forward”. We are no longer there. We are striving for more and all because the Creator of the universe says we can. Regardless, of what anyone thinks.
Now we need to look at some truths when it comes to purity so we can better understand what it means to be pure, the elements surrounding it, and who purity is for.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”When we understand the why, then we are motivated to search for the how.” quote=”When we understand the why, then we are motivated to search for the how.”]
Importance of purity:
1. Purity is for everyone-
It doesn’t matter how old, how many partners, married, divorced, what race, what economic status, purity is for everyone and excludes no one.
2. Purity is challenging but worth it-
Just like anything that takes work, a career a job, an art piece, choreography, winning a championship, it takes work. Putting in the training and executing Godly behavior will reap major benefits.
<CLICK, PRINT, and LAMINATE to keep where you can SEE it!>
3. Purity is Godly-
God requires it and its established through His Person meaning His strength, His resources, His love, His affirmation, and His resources. It’s a Godly call to be pure.
4. Purity is love-
While sex demands self-gratification, purity demands Godly love. Sacrificing pleasure until its appointed time will bring you to the true definition of love and not the other way around.
5. Purity is biblical-
A few authors of the bible focused on purity in their letters. Why? Because our bodies are included in the promise of salvation on this side of eternity. It matters what we do here. Our bodies are not exempt.
6. Purity is honoring-
It honors God, your parents, the people in your life, your body, and the other person. People are affected by your decisions not just you.
7. Purity is an option away from sinful behavior-
It gives you the ability to do other things. Sex can be consuming when it’s not in its proper boundaries. Purity allows you to choose different every time.
8. Purity is a testimony-
It shouts to the gods of this world the commitment we have towards Jesus Christ. It sets apart. It shows people other ways of living and brings comfort in knowing life can be lived differently and not at the mercy of sexual behavior.
9. Purity is healing-
It gives the space to heal, restore, redeem, and refocus. It allows us to walk away from the past and provide hope for the future. It gives the okay to not have to be sexual.
10. Purity is safe-
It keeps us from entering into dangerous situations and keeps us on guard from people who wish us ill will. It draws the Godly boundary in our lives so we can truly enjoy a life more abundantly.
11. Purity identifies but is not an identity-
It is a sign of a heart postured toward God but if lost at any moment cannot take away the identity of who you are in Him. It is simply part of a compass redirecting your heart towards His.
12. Purity is part of The Lifeline-
When the world wants to suffocate you with how they think you should behave, dress, pursue, or talk, your dedication to Jesus Christ can be the foundation and reason for ignoring their deceptive grasps.
13. Purity is part of your legacy-
It can show a whole generation what Godly relationships, Godly marriage, and a Godly family looks like. Even if you and your spouse weren’t pure before your kids were born, you still have a chance to show them what purity is like within a marriage.
14. Purity is a decision-
It doesn’t matter if you had 1 or 1,000 partners. It doesn’t matter if you just finished sexual behavior or if it happened last week. Purity is a decision that can be made at any time and is timeless.
15. Purity is yours-
People don’t have to understand it, they may not agree with it, and they might even make fun of it. However, purity is YOUR decision.
16. Purity is God-fashioned
God is eternal and His ways will never go out of style. It is a God given design set before the beginning of time. Other people, religions, or practices may try to claim and redefine it but it has been and always will be God’s.
Remember, a couple of the foundations at your disposal are 1) knowing your identity in Christ (see 2 Cor. 5:17 and some of the breakdown above) and 2) knowing the Word of God (another non-negotiable; see the video linked in this post for more info).
I pray these quick truths will be just the beginning in understanding why purity is important and how it can help you break free from your past.
Baskets of Blessings,
Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!