Teen Dating: 3 SOLID Tips to Save Yourself From Dating Drama
One of my teens recently confided in me that she had a crush on someone. This news was a little shocking because of the controversy surrounding this person of interest and their dating history of a new girl every week. However, wanting her to feel comfortable and safe in opening up I asked her what she liked about him. She told me, “Well I think he’s funny and has a nice personality.” I replied, “Fair enough but what do you think about all the drama with him and his prior dating partners (one of them being her close friend)?” “Well I feel stupid for liking him and I don’t know why I do or what to do.”
Now she is not the first and definitely won’t be the last person to feel silly for falling for someone who is not the best choice but the question still remains, what does she do now? You see the enemy is not going to tempt you with the kid who annoys you in 6th period class or the guy who you have friendzoned. He will tempt you with the “bad” boy, the one who pushes limits, rebellious, challenging to authority, and possibly a nonbeliever (click HERE for another post about bad boys). Regardless, you must also remember what the Word of God says, “….God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor. 10:13). Here are some tips on what to do when faced with this dilemma:
1) Observe– There’s at least ONE quality in everyone that makes them desirable. The tip here is to look at the WHOLE package. Sure he may be funny but ask yourself a few questions. Is it at the expense of others? Is he just trying to get attention from girls including yourself? Is it appropriate? What other traits are there about him? Who does he hang out with? Is he prone to getting into trouble? Does he have anger issues? These are all important questions because you will get dragged into his drama. Is it worth it? Even if you think it is, is it glorifying to God?
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Eph. 4:29)
2) Wait– I know this is the most difficult thing for anyone especially in this world of instant self-gratification. At the click of a button, we can have what we want, when we want, and if it isn’t received at the time we want it, we demand some compensation. The key to knowing if someone is truly into you versus being next on his list is to wait. Give it a couple of weeks. Honestly guys who are just looking for the next victim to stroke his ego won’t wait long to move onto the next girl if he sees you’re taking too long. Hey it’s better to find out now rather than investing in more time and feelings only to see him walk down the hall with another girl as a sign of him breaking up with you.
“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” (Heb. 10:36).
3) Integrity– You want to start a relationship on the right foot not only with God but with others too. I’m going to give a little inside secret especially with girls. If your friend dated somebody, by no means should their ex even be an option for you. Even if she says, “I don’t care. You can date him.” Don’t do it. Never date your friend’s ex. The drama is simply not worth it. A healthy relationship will bring people together not drive them apart. Also, there is strength in numbers. If this is the person for you, then you want a few prayer warriors on your side. Especially those friends who have grown to know you through the years and vice versa.
“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.” (Prov.10:9)
I wish I could say it worked out with my teen and her love interest but it didn’t. Everything stated above, is the advice I gave to her. She took the advice and saw for herself the reality of who this person was. My job is not to be right but to give you and the rest of my teens tools to be able to make the best decision for your life. She was a little brokenhearted but not as brokenhearted as the girl he broke up with the week before to ask her out which is the same girl he went back to after she denied him. Don’t settle. You are worth more. Date smart!
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (Eph. 5:15-17)
Baskets of Blessings!
Jesus, family, ministry, and lots of coffee! My heart comes from being a young teen girl who didn’t know much and found Jesus in a dark time. My ministry focuses on the heart of God for this generation to make Godly decisions especially in the area of purity. A blog for all ages because God’s Word is eternal and has no age limit!